What is love?

I would like to think that there are a lot of things that I believe I understand in life, but for the longest time, love has not been one of them. I based my whole understanding of love and relationships off the big screen, off the fairytales that I gripped so tightly to growing up. Maybe it was my own way of escaping reality, but I believed it none the less.  I used to believe that if you loved someone, you would do 'anything' for them. However, as I grew older, I  learnt that it wasn't exactly true.  

I discovered that for some people I had to minimise my net worth to keep them happy,  and with only the phrase 'you are nobody till somebody loves you' keeping me attached to them. Sometimes we have a very narrow view of the world, and we idealise a certain type of love. Even more so in today's world of social media where the hashtags 'relationship goals' have blurred the lines of what is central in our lives. Love doesn't always have to be that of the romantic kind. Love is whatever you make of it. So, maybe the question we should ask instead is "what does love feel like?" 

Love can be that feeling of warmth in a memory of a time when your best friend comforted you after the loss of someone you cared about. Love can be found in the little things, like popping out to the shops in the middle of the night because someone you care about is hungry and there's no food at home. Love can be that time you graduated, and all your most important people were there to cheer you on. 

Love can also be a different kind of feeling, a feeling of distance. Just as a plant won't grow any better if you watch it, sometimes you have to let things be to allow them to develop. Sometimes love can stop us from moving on. If we go back to the plant, you're watching grow, in some cases your shadow may prevent the plant from getting any sunlight. Sometimes you have to step back to let things develop to their fullest. So if there are people in your life who have distanced from you, it may not be because they love you any less, but sometimes they're doing this because of the very fact that they love you. Its because they don't want to hurt you. 

Honestly, it took me a long time to realise it, but I had 'love' all around me, in different forms and different memories. The truth is it just took me a long time to understand it. It might not have been in the way that movies and novels pushed it to be, but I have love nonetheless. Sometimes it means stepping back and looking at what is in your life. No matter how alone life may feel If we all look close enough love is there. 
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2 comments

  1. You've made such a great point! Most of the time the love we crave ever so much is right there beside us but our eyes, heart and mind is blind to it. Refreshing post and yay to you being back!

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    1. awe, Thank you, really do appreciate all the support :)

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